Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Should i cut my mom off for this? Please read. Im dying for an opinion?

I’m in my mid twenties and I’m not petite, nor fat, nor anywhere around obesity at all. I’m just a little curvy. Picture the women in the Haynes commercials. Well, that’s me except for a smaller stomach. I have curves that I’m very proud of and wouldn’t trade for anything. After all, in my opinion, that’s one of the things that makes a women right? Well, not in my mother’s eyes. She is very petite for her size. She’s all about appearance really. And she is constantly getting on me about my weight. In high school I use to be a little skinnier (no hips or breasts) and she wants me to be like I was (as she remembered me to be). At first I paid her no attention. After all it’s like I said. I wasn’t anywhere near fat at all. Just curvier. But then she started to do and say things. Once she told me when we were having a talk that she was embarrassed of me as her daughter whenever I came around her and her friends. She asked me how I would feel if she was like me and she came around me and my friends. I burst out into tears toward the harsh comment. Then she hugged me and apologized when I was trying to push her away for such a comment. But this is just the tip of the icing. She says other things. She said she would buy me a car but I had to lose the weight she requires first. She tries to bribe me in many ways. It’s so bad that if I’m in the kitchen and she comes in, I have to hurry and hide whatever I am fixing so she doesn’t say anything to me. At one point I was so depressed I completely STOPPED eating for like a week and on the 5th day she came to me and was like “you look good. Whatever your doing is working.” I told her I wasn’t eating and she was like “keep it up”. Every day she asks me the same question. Are you working out? She explains to me that I need to look good because I’m still single and no guy wants a girl like me. She tells me guys want skinny girls. I tell her that these things hurt my feelings but she doesn’t listen nor care. Because a couple of days later she is back to doing and saying things. This has sadly changed our relationship over the years. Lately it’s been bad and my boyfriend wants me to say something or he will. I tell him you can’t change a person and told him I was moving out. But he doesn’t think that will help sense she will call and I will still see her once in a while for Holidays. I don’t know what to do. I love my mother but being around her is KILLING my self esteem. I find the more time Im with her the more time I come down on myself for the way I look and this causes me to stay in and not want to be seen by others because of what she puts in my head. What to do?

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